Dating with Kids Involved

As I've grown older, so have the potential pool of guys to date. They have been busy living their lives, and many are having children. As I have dated guys with kids, it is a very thin line to walk. There are many things to consider as you date a parent.

As the parent is getting ready for a date, they should be honest with their children. It depends on their ages, but most kids should be aware that their parent is going out and meeting people, even if the child never meets any of the dates. I would suggest not introducing the children physically into the relationship until after the third date. By the end of the third date, you are beginning to grow more comfortable with each other. Both the child and date are probably curious to meet each other. Above everything else, I would suggest only introducing your date and kids when you feel they both are ready. And afterwards, give them time to process the new information. Some kids are against their parent having a new adult in their life, some adults get freaked out by children. 

Of course every situation is going to be different, depending on the children's other parent as well. Things get complicated quickly as the children like to report everything to the other parent. I had an experience where I couldn't handle the child's mother. I dated a guy for just over 6 months when I was invited to a party, not knowing that his son's mother was invited as well. She was the opposite of nice so I left, and decided that it was right for me to end the relationship. I've had another situation dating a guy where his daughter told her mom that he had a girlfriend. It impressed me when we met that she shook my hand and wished us well.

Discuss what is ok with kids also. I have been used to correcting most of my friend's children if they are about to do something I know is against their rules, such as breaking a window. One guy I dated was having a hard time waiting for his daughter to fall asleep. He was very upset after he learned that I pointed to her bed as she got up and waved at me from her doorway.

I believe a guy with kids can be a wonderful boyfriend if he has his priories in order. A single mother can be a wonderful girlfriend too. As long as the parent has the right balance of a work, home, and social life it can be a promising future for a relationship.