Last week I was shocked to discover that the guy I was seeing was cheating on me. After dealing with the situation and ending the relationship, I wondered how I will get over this cheater.
Everyone copes with cheating differently. Some people carry the guilt and burden with them, wondering if they did something to contribute to their lover cheating on them. I know in my heart I did nothing wrong except be too nice and generous until he crossed the line. Some women carry anger towards men in general after being cheated on once, or repeatedly.
Here is how to deal with the situation once the relationship has ended and you are trying to move on.
Realize that all of the feelings you are feeling are natural. Everyone has felt a wide variety of feelings for varying amounts of time. Ultimately however, your feelings are yours. You can own them.
I believe that obviously they are the one who had the problem of keeping their pants on and couldn't talk to you about it prior. At first I felt rage, I imagined smashing his car up similar to the music video Before He Cheats. I decided that spending the night in jail wasn't worth it and watched some Sex and the City instead. After calming down the next day I realized that he has the problem, because I heard that this isn't the first time he has cheated.
One of the wisest questions someone asked me was "What can you learn from this experience?" They reminded me that there is no going back and fixing the past. You also can't control someone's feelings or actions. The only thing you can control is YOUR thoughts, feelings, and actions. This was another opportunity to learn from in the road of life.
After one week, I've learned that he has the problem. He made the choice to act upon his thoughts. I will not hold this one situation against all men, there has to be someone out there in the world for me that will have more respect for me. I'm a dignified woman with major plans for my life. Soon I will begin working on my online master’s degree. One day when I am old, rich, and surrounded by loving family I will laugh about how I imagined throwing my life away while smashing up his car in a moment of anger. I will be thankful that I didn't take that wrong path down life, and instead owned my life and it will end happily.
Everyone copes with cheating differently. Some people carry the guilt and burden with them, wondering if they did something to contribute to their lover cheating on them. I know in my heart I did nothing wrong except be too nice and generous until he crossed the line. Some women carry anger towards men in general after being cheated on once, or repeatedly.
Here is how to deal with the situation once the relationship has ended and you are trying to move on.
Realize that all of the feelings you are feeling are natural. Everyone has felt a wide variety of feelings for varying amounts of time. Ultimately however, your feelings are yours. You can own them.
I believe that obviously they are the one who had the problem of keeping their pants on and couldn't talk to you about it prior. At first I felt rage, I imagined smashing his car up similar to the music video Before He Cheats. I decided that spending the night in jail wasn't worth it and watched some Sex and the City instead. After calming down the next day I realized that he has the problem, because I heard that this isn't the first time he has cheated.
One of the wisest questions someone asked me was "What can you learn from this experience?" They reminded me that there is no going back and fixing the past. You also can't control someone's feelings or actions. The only thing you can control is YOUR thoughts, feelings, and actions. This was another opportunity to learn from in the road of life.
After one week, I've learned that he has the problem. He made the choice to act upon his thoughts. I will not hold this one situation against all men, there has to be someone out there in the world for me that will have more respect for me. I'm a dignified woman with major plans for my life. Soon I will begin working on my online master’s degree. One day when I am old, rich, and surrounded by loving family I will laugh about how I imagined throwing my life away while smashing up his car in a moment of anger. I will be thankful that I didn't take that wrong path down life, and instead owned my life and it will end happily.
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